I got a letter from Tokyopop. Inside was a certificate thanking me for participating in RSOM4, and a letter telling me that I didn’t win. My name was written “Jason Lan” on the certificate. For those of you who don’t already know, my name is Justin Lan. You’d think that they should be able to get that small detail right, seeing as they’re a big pubishing company and all.
But that’s not the important thing. I don’t care that we (D-san and I) lost. In fact, I’m glad that we didn’t win. Those of you who haven’t already, go ahead and read Reflection, our RSOM entry. This will make the rant easier to understand.
The character named “Keno Colin” was of my creation. My first original character, and my only one for years. I was proud of him. I was behind him at all times and supported him as I would a good friend. And what happens? What do I get for my troubles? D-san (and two other folks who were innocently dragged into this matter) turn him into a dictator in one of their stories. I was devestated. I didn’t show it, but I was anyway. So, two years later, in a bout of depression-induced rage, I came up with the plot for Reflection. It was very mechanical logic. I didn’t want my character to be misused again, so I would kill him off. I was going to complete the project by myself. And guess what? D-san arrives again, yanks the project out of my hands, and draws it himself.
So in the end, the project was, in my eyes, a failure. My character had been used by someone else for the project designed to prevent that from happening. Go ahead and laugh at my situation. I’ve been the butt of enough jokes not to care.
After D-san sent his pages in to RSOM, I took my work back and burned all the pages. I put the ashes in a copper cylinder, welded it shut, and attached it to a chain. It now hangs in Derek’s room. He found it cool. Yet another loss for me.
So, back to not winning. If we had won, my character would have once again become someone else’s instrument. And the whole United States would know it. But, then again, what would they care?
Oh yes, the bane of webcomic-ing. The Dead Day.
What is it, you ask? Well, if you’ve read Megatokyo, you’ll know that it’s when one loses the ability to draw anything. Period.
I, myself, have not had a dead day for about a month until just yesterday, when I was wrapping up a strip that’ll be posted in about two weeks on the current schedule. I had two above average quality frames done, and then, I couldn’t get anything done on the last one. For about three hours. I just sat there and erased.
So, what causes a Dead Day? Well, I believe it’s a simple case of trying to hard. Why is this? Well, as before every Dead Day I’ve had, I’ve had a period of better-than-average-drawing, before you come up to one drawing that just doesn’t look right. Thus, you erase it, and you try a bit harder to get it right, and then you distort it a bit more, and then so on and so forth.The thing is, trying harder doesn’t always make it better. Whenever I draw, I don’t believe I can do anything unless it’s in a more relaxed atmosphere, so what I’m saying is that *Screwing up = Trying harder = Screwing up more*, or something like that.
A solution, you say? Well, frankly, I have no clue. I guess it’s a natural impulse to try harder on something if you screw up the first time, so you can’t really compound the problem. I guess what you could do is do a different drawing for the time being, I haven’t tried to do anything about Dead Days yet, so I don’t know.
Let’s see, that about covers it, if anyone knows anyone who will link to NWars or something, please don’t hesitate to EMail me… Gmail is awesome; so much faster than Yahoo.